Having recently had a second child, I’m aware more than ever of the iterative nature of life. I saw myself in my daughter, now I do in my son, and I also see her in him. They always say that having children will change your life, and give it meaning. For me at least, though, it’s been more a question of realizing that the meaning in my life doesn’t need to be grand or profound. Yes, my life is mostly about my children now, and watching their growth and experience is consistently exciting and inspiring, but I don’t find myself imagining much the ambitious and grand things they’ll do in their lives. Instead, I imagine them as delicate spokes on a wheel with self-sustaining momentum, and my primary role as that of the previous spoke, contributing to the force of the wheel until I can’t any longer, blocking as much interference as I can to prevent interruptions to the wheel’s continued movement. I don’t want to make their lives easy or hard, I just want to make sure their path is relatively clear to play out naturally, and at a reasonable and sustainable pace.

These two pieces submitted by Greek composer Aeoni (real name Ioanna Theofilakou) are from her recent EP, Lifetime, which explores the cyclical quality of life–treating it as a series of variations with no inherent progress or climax. Owing to her background as a physicist, the pseudonym Aeoni is also a reference to iterative cycles. Specifically, it’s a reference to Roger Penrose’s conformal cyclic cosmology theory, which suggests that our universe is a cycle (aeon) that began with the big bang, and will that gradually and eventually become so vast that it essentially empties itself of matter. This will lead to another big bang, in which a new universe is born from the remnants of ours, after which the cycle will repeat again. (Forgive me if this is a butchering of the science.)

The two pieces Aeoni shared with me are both from the second half of her record, each of the songs on which are titled for a stage of life. The first, “Senescence,” is the bit that scares most people. Growing old; experiencing the slow of the regenerative processes that most directly represent vitality. This for many, may also signal a sort of loss of identity, in which one’s view of oneself degrades as one’s body does. But if one’s tempo is right, maybe it’s this phase that can make internal life feel most concrete and comfortable? Aeoni’s take on it would seem to suggest this; she’s woven together a gently meandering loop that feels somewhat fragile, but ultimately comfortable in itself, and comforting. The second, “Rebirth,” is the end of the EP, and reminds a little bit of an Astrid Sonne record, at least insofar as it’s built of a combination of a front-and-center semi-live drum kit supporting a flurry of resampled and recontextualized classical instruments and fluttering found sound. Aeoni seems to imagine the final cycle in the aeon not as empty and vast like Penrose, without matter to slow it down or give it a clock, but instead as determined and charging insistently towards the inevitable in resolute cadence.

Lifetime isn’t on bandcamp, unfortunately, but it’s streamable all over, and I was kindly given permission to share with you these mp3s.

Aeoni – “Senescence” (mp3)
Aeoni – “Rebirth” (mp3)